At the moment, it is my annual ‘week-off’ when my kids all go on holiday with their dad and his mum. I miss them, but at the same time I know they are at the seaside in Cornwall (something I can’t afford to do for them myself) and that Katie will have her favourite cousin to play with all week.
So now, 7 years after we split, I relax and enjoy my week off. Its a week off:
* endless washing up
and time for instead for:
*endless bubble baths
*endless sofa time
*endless peace and quiet
so I’ve had a very nice sunday today, did 8 hours of gardening! (and my garden needed it) and now am going to relax with a very bad romcom called ‘the back-up plan’ in which Jennifer Lopez, being terminally single and hitting her late 30s, gets artifically inseminated, and then meets the love of her life on the way home from the clinic. And oops, she’s successfully pregnant. The love of her life has a hobby. He’s obsessed with making cheese, and so is the director I suspect.
One thing that helps depression, I have learned, is ‘getting on top of something’. These things in life that build up, run late, get messy, remain unpaid compound depression and that whole feeling of being inadequate. You can feel like you will never get on top of things, and wonder why you are so inept. That is self bullying of course, but if you take just one small thing, one step at a time, and get on top of it, then it gives you such a boost and sets the balls rolling for getting on top of other worries, just one thing a day. It makes you feel, for once, like you are winning, and its worth just starting that first task that has kept you awake at night.